One month ago right now, I watched my favorite people walk down the aisle ahead of me... the doors closed, and it was just my dad & I. My dad looked at me and said, "well Hayl, these are life's special moments you will remember always." The doors swung open, Canon in D played, and I started walking towards my best friend. I never felt so happy in all my life, never felt so sure of anything. When he saw me, he teared up and mouthed, "wow". It was simply - perfect.

There are so many moments that I can remember so clearly, and others that when people re-tell them, I can't believe I can't recall at all. (Like the fact that we watched the movie "Enchanted" before we went to the barn - girls, do you remember that? I had no idea we did that!! Haha, am I so lame or what?!)

I remember after taking pictures together, Tyler & I got to hang out alone in the bridal suite for a bit before we got back with the bridal party for introductions & reception. They brought us champagne & some appetizers from cocktail hour, and we just sat & sortof stared at each other smiling. That is one thing I DO remember - maybe not every little detail, but every little FEELING - I remember feeling like I was going to explode from happiness. 

I did not expect to feel different - we have been together over 6 years, and have lived together for the majority of those years. We've felt "married" for a long time. But wow - I feel different! I feel happy, so happy. Calm. Excited - yes, excited! I catch myself daydreaming about our future more than ever before. Not so much planning it out, but thinking of the endless possibilities, the many different paths we could take, together. There is so much life to live and we get to take this journey together - and I couldn't have found a better person to do it with. 

I keep stressing about getting it all down, every memory, every moment - but I think that's pretty impossible. I think I'll just start writing about the moments as I remember them, as they come to me. (Like yesterday, on my drive home from work, "Any Man Of Mine" by Shania Twain came on, and I just could not stop smiling thinking of my bridesmaids at my bachelorette: we were in the backyard of the cape house they rented, and I was teaching them the line dance! Then at the rehearsal dinner,  we all practiced it again... and finally we all did it at the wedding! So fun!!)

So, cheers. Cheers to one month down, hopefully millions to go. I sometimes feel bittersweet, that the party's all over. I know that's silly - the party is just beginning.

An excerpt from Union by Robert Fulghum

 You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks — all those sentences that began with “When we’re married” and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” — those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” — and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things we’ve promised and hoped and dreamed — 

well, I meant it all, every word.”

Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another — acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this is my husband, this is my wife.

*thank you Michael for reading this so beautifully at our wedding.